Simpson injustices, this Throwback Thursday

There’s a new cop in town – who quit after only a few days on the force. That’s right, Marge Simpson forged the plot for “The Springfield Connection”, which aired today in 1995, when she joined the police force to fight crime on the streets but ended up arresting Homer for parking over disabled bays.

It does beg the question – how the hell did Marge and Homer not realize Herman was running a counterfeit jeans operation in their garage? They use it every day and have to replace the door every Sunday….

Well, Homer got arrested, now Bart isn’t getting bedde- I mean, courted. In 1992, Bart’s Friend (Milhouse) Falls in Love with new girl Samantha Stankey and Bart immediately grows jealous, so tries to split them up – the method being contacting her father and making her being sent to a convent school. All this because a Magic 8 ball said they wouldn’t be friends at the end of the day. Oh, well, at least Bart has some change to spend on comfort food at the Kwik-E-Mart, and Homer’s got an improved vocabulary.

And after that, in 2000, Lisa was injusticated (is that even a word? cromulent, it probably isn’t) by when she tried out for tap dancing school and ended up being the rope-puller at the recital, or performance, or whatever they call it. (Man, I need Homer’s Vocabulary Builder) But then Frink offers her a special pair of dancing shoes which hafve a couple of motors, which when attached to her shoes, will make them tap for her whenever a loud sound is made. The show begins, and her shoes pick up the tapping of the other performers. She becomes the star, matching the envious teacher, Little Vicky, tap for tap, but when the audience applauds the shoes go haywire. Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse abandon their camping trip for fear of Nelson’s fists, and end up residing at the Springfield Mall where Chief Wiggum sets a puma out to catch them, thinking it’s a giant rat that’s gone into all the stores and vandalized them. (You can’t see me shaking my head, can you?)

Six years later on the exact date, Marge lost her memory after Consuela spilt some Lemon Pledge- sorry, wrong show, after she tried to clean the house top-to-bottom because she’d won a prize of a maid (meant to go to 74 Evergreen Terrace, but Homer didn’t want to pay Nelson and Bart to paint the “2” on the kerb) and to try and clean a stubborn stain on the kitchen floor, combined her cleaners together but ended up becoming woozy and hitting herself on a stool. She slowly remembers her family, except for Homer, who she kicks out of the house and goes on a date. The date leaves her, and Homer arrives telling him how great he is before he offers to drive Marge home. Homer brings beer, and Marge remembers him.

Looks like she forgot Maggie, though, as on this date in 1989 we find The Thrilling Conclusion to Maggie’s story in an Ullman short. Basically, she flies home on a bunch of balloons she got from a nearby carnival.

She has very strong legs, doesn’t she? And arms.

And also today, in 1933, the late Johnny Unitas, a football player and guest star as himself in “Homie the Clown” was born.

Well, that’s all the Simpsons injustices for this week. See you next week for more Throwback Thursday, written in a country where we don’t know what’s happening next week!

Smell ya later!

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